Some people say they cannot understand how anyone can complain so intensely about the world they live in—a world they also cannot escape. If one is so dissatisfied, they ask, how can one go on living? For me, the reason I can go on living is, to a large extent, precisely because of complaining. Long live complaining. Complaining saves lives. Complaining makes life bearable; it may even make the world better. Complaining is meaningful; complaining is sacred. Ultimately, no matter how the structures of the world discipline and constrain people, the reasons people choose to go on living come from within. In deeply imperfect environments, people do the best they can to remain themselves. Being required to describe pain as happiness is at the root of much suffering. So even under bad circumstances, if people are allowed to complain, that environment is already less terrible. The worst environment is one in which people are required to lie at the level of their own experience—to say they are happy when they are clearly in pain. Even writing this sentence now, I feel a tightness in my chest.
This space allows people to express themselves. In itself, that may not change society as a whole, but it does improve how some people feel. And in such an environment, when people are allowed to express themselves relatively freely, they usually do not remain stuck in the state they expressed at any one moment. Their understanding of themselves and the world tends to shift during and after expression, most often in a direction that is more aligned with their natural way of being. This process can help people sort things out internally, releasing resources that may previously have been blocked—such as problem-solving capacity, the ability to experience one’s own perceptions, trust in one’s own experience, and the capacity to understand others. Naturally, I do not believe that a group like this can bring about social transformation. But a small increase in inner freedom for particular individuals is, to me, something deeply constructive. The patterns I am describing are ones I have witnessed repeatedly, and I count myself among those who have benefited from them.
