As a person-centered therapist, in therapy, I do have very clear goals. I deliberately choose to do certain things, and avoid doing certain things. It is a very disciplined practice, but the goals are for myself, not for the client. In therapy, I have very clear goals for myself. I aim to do three things simultaneously, at an inner level, as well as I can and as consistently as I can. First, to maintain awareness of myself—to notice how I actually am in the moment, and to allow myself to be as I am, including both what I consider “good” and “not good.” Second, to respect and accept the client as unconditionally as possible; when I fall short, I notice that as well and allow myself some grace. Third, on the basis of the first two, to understand the client as much as possible from the client’s perspective, without losing awareness of myself. I work very seriously toward these goals. When I say that I have “no goals for the client,” I mean that the client is free to be however they are. The client has no obligation to “do well,” and no obligation to want to “self-actualize.” The client has no obligations. If a client’s behavior becomes unbearable for me or makes me feel threatened, then as a real person I need to be aware of that and respond as a real person. In responding, I do my best to take the client’s needs into account, but not at the cost of limitless self-sacrifice.
